All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
