I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I don't deserve a penis
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Randomize
