i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
