You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
