will power is for people who don't want to get laid
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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