Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize