you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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