Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize