Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
