I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
OPIZZABONMYDICK
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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