Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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