yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
