i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
