I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
