at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
