Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
