Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
