does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
