Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
