Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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