Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
So squirting runs in the family.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
