How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Someone came in the potted fern
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Randomize
