It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
