We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I'm too high and old for this...
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
