I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
