Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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