Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Never joke about your clitoris.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
