Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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