don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
