Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
