Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
