Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
