Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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