So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
