just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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