remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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