i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
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