my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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