The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
