That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
