the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
