We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
