i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
someone threw a dead crab at me
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
