I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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