i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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