Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
