God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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