you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize