she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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