Well apparently he's into motor boating.
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
