Already got asked if we're dating
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Be still, my beating vagina.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize