youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I will die if light touches me.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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