tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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