we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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