Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
These tits shall not be calmed
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
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