and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Randomize
