You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
You can't just leave with hair like that
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
