I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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