So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
