I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
