sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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