The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
