Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Rumble strips road head = magical
You made out with two different species that night
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
