omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize