that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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